The Rollercoaster Ride of Feelings During the COVID-19 Pandemic
When the “Stay at Home Orders” first became a reality, many of us did not know what to feel. Some of us started out feeling confused. We may have tried to avoid the whole subject of the COVID-19 Pandemic completely. Others began to feel shock and fear, thinking about what this all truly means on a personal level: When can I see my family again? How am I going to pay the rent? Who is going to help my daughter with Calculus? What if I lose my job? Do I have enough food in the refrigerator? Where am I going to run my meetings? When can I see my friends again? What about my travel plans and my concert tickets? Will I still get to graduate? Are my children going to get sick? Are my parents going to get sick? How do I do this…
And then for some of us, a sense of elation kicked in, and we decided we were going to beat this thing and live our best life: intense workout schedules began; routines were established. We figured out the best time to grocery shop and buy ingredients for the new recipe we are going to try. We decided how to help others in need. Video calls with friends and loved ones were scheduled, and they became more creative as the weeks went by.
More time passed; and it still passes. As we continue to read the news day after day, frustration begins to set in as the new normal starts to infiltrate our day to day lives. Irritation and anxiety may begin to creep up on us, until finally anger bursts out when we least expect it, causing pain to ourselves and those around us.
Many of us have been struggling to find meaning during this COVID-19 Pandemic. It has become exhausting. We turn to others for support and hope while simultaneously trying to gain insight and knowledge. But even that doesn’t always keep us from our lows. Some stay low for a bit or awhile; others use that energy to explore creative plans on how to move forward in a new normal. We begin to accept what has been placed before us.
“Know the Point of Rest, and then have an Orderly Mode of Procedure” -Ezra Pound’s translation of Confucius
We are all grieving our old way of life, in our own way. We will all have to work through certain feelings and grieve in our own time. It is OK not to feel OK right now. It makes sense and it is appropriate to feel this way. And wherever you currently sit with grief, it is OK. Being present in this moment is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and the others around you right now. And when we take this moment to be present and pause, hopefully, we can find that space within ourselves, that space that strengthens our resilience and rests with gratitude.
